Carrie

On Sunday morning, December 2, 2012, our small church was gathering as usual. I remember the date very well. Three new faces walked into the café—nothing out of the ordinary. But one of them, a woman in her fifties, came straight up to me, wrapped me in a huge hug, and said, “Hi, I’m Carrie!”

It felt like an electric charge shot through my body. I never saw it coming, and she immediately captured my attention. I soon learned that Carrie was single and living with her friends, Mike and Lindy, who had recently moved to the area from Philadelphia.

Nearly three years had passed since Jean’s death, and I was preparing to spend Christmas and New Year’s with friends in Russia, followed by a visit to others in Ukraine. The trip turned out to be a nightmare—delayed flights, long waits, and constant uncertainty. But uncertainty had become my new normal, and I was slowly adjusting to the strange rhythms of life as a single man in his early sixties.

When I returned home in late January, it felt as though Carrie had been waiting for me. Within a few days, my daughter Rebecca and I were invited to dinner at the home of Mike, Lindy, and Carrie. That evening marked the beginning of a warm and unexpected new chapter—not only with Carrie, but with the Sheridan’s as well.

We began spending more time together, and soon Carrie and I were going on dates. It was clear we were drawn to each other, and we gradually allowed those feelings to surface. Love was in the air, and for the first time in a long while, life felt like it was returning.

After months of dating and getting to know what would become my new family, we decided to marry. On December 28, 2013, a small gathering of family and friends met in my sister’s home, and the two of us became one.

Jean’s Death

Life was moving along smoothly. We were enjoying our family, pastoring, developing the Adam2 Center, and traveling with the Kaisers for the annual Time of Refreshing in Switzerland.

We were celebrating our great-nephew’s birthday—he was born on the Fourth of July. Jean was carrying the birthday cake she had made, as she always did. It wasn’t one of her best creations; the decorations were messy. More concerning, though, was the way she was walking. Something wasn’t right.

The next day we decided to take her to the emergency room. From there, she was admitted to the hospital. The diagnosis was cancer—cancer that had metastasized to several organs, including her brain, causing swelling.

On July 6, 2009, we were told she had seven months to live. There are no words that can truly describe what a moment like that feels like. Life, as you know it, comes to a sudden and violent stop. The months that followed that were like living in a nightmare that wouldn’t stop. My wife of forty years was leaving us.

Seven months later, at her funeral, I spoke about what we call death. To us as humans, it is known as death. But to those of us who are in Christ, it is actually being swallowed up by Life. In as much as it’s necessary to make the transition from this life to the next, it can be a painful process. Our certainly was.

“For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands… so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.”
— 2 Corinthians 5:1–5

The Adam2 Center had been operating for about five years, and now I was single. I had never been single. Being married at nineteen is not the same as suddenly being alone. So what do you do? I did the only thing I knew how to do—I kept pastoring the church and running the nonprofit.

Every day was exhausting. Every day felt pointless.

That exhausting, empty existence continued for the next two and a half years. I kept pastoring. I kept traveling—mission trips to Russia and Ukraine, and of course, Time of Refreshing with the Kaisers. I needed someone to pull the plug on my endless activity, but there was no one to do that.

Until December 2, 2012.

That’s when I met Carrie.

It was memorable, to say the least.